Online poll produces church mag's top ten typos - news from ekklesia

By staff writers
June 6, 2005

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Online poll produces church mag's top ten typos

-06/06/05

In 1631, a British printer named Robert Barker published an edition of the Bible that contained a salacious misprint. In the Book of Exodus, the Seventh Commandment appeared without the word "not." Consequently, the divine directive read, "Thou shalt commit adultery."

The book went on to be known as The Wicked Bible. The mistake destroyed Barker's career - even though rumour has it the deletion was the result of a rival printer's subterfuge.

"I suppose that's the most dreadful typo in history," says Max Hall, whose book An Embarrassment of Misprints contains more than 150 such errors. One of Hallís favourites appeared in a theatre review of Harvey, Mary C. Chase's prize-winning play about a drunk and the giant imaginary hare only he can see.

"The article said this man was followed around by a six-foot-tall white rabbi," says Hall, chuckling. "That's the kind I like."

A competition run by online web-zine ShipOfFools.com has now produced a top-10 of typos from church magazines.

Thousands of church magazines and pew sheets are produced by volunteers each month - and those inevitable misprints have become collectorsí items.

Somehow, misprints in church productions are even funnier than those found in local newspapers - and itís all about context, of course. The serious stuff of religious observance shattered by one small error!

The church magazine is a treasure trove for typos. And now readers of shipoffools.com have voted for the Parish Pump Church Magazine Misprint Competition 2005.

ìThe charm of these mis-prints in no way detracts from the stupendous work church magazine editors are doing right across the country,î says the Rev Taffy Davies, vicar of Sutton St James, near Macclesfield, UK. ìIn fact, church magazine editors are in many senses the unsung heroes of the local church today.î

In reverse order of popularity, the Parish Pump Top 10 Church Magazine Misprints were as follows:

10 Calvinism - and the doctrine of predestination - is clearly alive and well in Ft. Myers, Florida. The First United Methodist Ash Wednesday bulletin announced that Lent was a time for us all to ...

ì...prepent of our sins.î

(2.5 per cent of vote)

8= Paul Mitchell, of Guildford, Western Australia was surprised to discover Jesus acquired a useful domestic skill during his time on earth. The local paper, quoting Luke 24:35, informed its readers that:

"The Lord was known in the baking of the bread."

We can only presume that his use of self-raising flour was meant to be a sign.

(4 per cent of vote)

8= Worshippers at St Mary Magdalene, Ashton-on-Mersey were invited to stay behind after a recent carol service to enjoy:

ìCoffee and mice pies.î

No-oneís heard a squeak out of them since.

(4 per cent of vote)

7 Anna from Chicago wonders just what kind of food was made available to guests at a local Episcopalian Church function recently. Tied in with one of Americaís biggest sporting events, Anna received an invitation to attend:

ìA Super Bowel Partyî

(5.7 per cent of vote)

6 Just how far was the destination, wonders shipmate Kat, when the weekly notice sheet at Aylesbury Methodist Church, Bucks, energetically announced:

ìThe Wesley Guild walk will start from the Hen and Chickens car park at 10am. Please bring a packed lung.î

(6.7 per cent of vote)

5 Isabel Clark from Peterborough, UK, writes: ìIn the recent edition of our local Christian newsletter, the Friday night service was listed as...

ìA service of prayer and medication.î

At the meeting that followed, she reports, all the worship leaders were laid low with flu.

(7.7 per cent of vote)

4 Kory Stamper, from Amherst, Massachusetts, told us how his ìoverworked pastor faithfully typed up hymns on transparencies for use on an overhead projector ñ until one fateful Sunday, during the classic hymn, 'Crown Him with Many Crowns', we were exhorted to:

ìAwake, my soul, and sin...î

(12.5 per cent of vote)

3 Daisymay sent us a misprint of diabolical proportions. The Graham Kendrick-penned classic hymn usually reads:

ìFor this purpose, Christ was revealed,
ìTo destroy all the works of the evil one...î

When put through a demonically-oppressed spellchecker, the Easter Sunday service sheet readÖ

ìFor this purpose, Christ was revealed,
ìTo destroy all the woks of the evil one....î

Clearly a case of ëRepent - or be stir fried.í

(14.5 per cent of vote)

2 The advent of the computer spellchecker has ensured that the church secretary doesnít need to proofread the service sheets any more - or does he? In one church, the word ìspeakingî was spelt wrongly, so the spellchecker gave the nearest equivalent. As a result, puzzled worshippers sangÖ

ìTeach us, Lord, the art of... spanking.î

It didnít help that the next verse in the hymn begins with the words, ìYou release us from our bondage...î

(20.4 per cent of vote)

1 One character - or lack of it - can make all the difference in encouraging the faithful to devotions. Winner of the The Parish Pump Church Magazine Misprint Competition 2005 is a Baptist Church near Ambleside which recently announced that...

ìThe meeting will be gin with prayer.î

Worshippers left looking tired and devotional.

(22 per cent of vote)

Find books now:

Online poll produces church mag's top ten typos

-06/06/05

In 1631, a British printer named Robert Barker published an edition of the Bible that contained a salacious misprint. In the Book of Exodus, the Seventh Commandment appeared without the word "not." Consequently, the divine directive read, "Thou shalt commit adultery."

The book went on to be known as The Wicked Bible. The mistake destroyed Barker's career - even though rumour has it the deletion was the result of a rival printer's subterfuge.

"I suppose that's the most dreadful typo in history," says Max Hall, whose book An Embarrassment of Misprints contains more than 150 such errors. One of Hall's favourites appeared in a theatre review of Harvey, Mary C. Chase's prize-winning play about a drunk and the giant imaginary hare only he can see.

"The article said this man was followed around by a six-foot-tall white rabbi," says Hall, chuckling. "That's the kind I like."

A competition run by online web-zine ShipOfFools.com has now produced a top-10 of typos from church magazines.

Thousands of church magazines and pew sheets are produced by volunteers each month - and those inevitable misprints have become collectors' items.

Somehow, misprints in church productions are even funnier than those found in local newspapers - and it's all about context, of course. The serious stuff of religious observance shattered by one small error!

The church magazine is a treasure trove for typos. And now readers of shipoffools.com have voted for the Parish Pump Church Magazine Misprint Competition 2005.

'The charm of these mis-prints in no way detracts from the stupendous work church magazine editors are doing right across the country,' says the Rev Taffy Davies, vicar of Sutton St James, near Macclesfield, UK. 'In fact, church magazine editors are in many senses the unsung heroes of the local church today.'

In reverse order of popularity, the Parish Pump Top 10 Church Magazine Misprints were as follows:

10 Calvinism - and the doctrine of predestination - is clearly alive and well in Ft. Myers, Florida. The First United Methodist Ash Wednesday bulletin announced that Lent was a time for us all to ...

'...prepent of our sins.'

(2.5 per cent of vote)

8= Paul Mitchell, of Guildford, Western Australia was surprised to discover Jesus acquired a useful domestic skill during his time on earth. The local paper, quoting Luke 24:35, informed its readers that:

"The Lord was known in the baking of the bread."

We can only presume that his use of self-raising flour was meant to be a sign.

(4 per cent of vote)

8= Worshippers at St Mary Magdalene, Ashton-on-Mersey were invited to stay behind after a recent carol service to enjoy:

'Coffee and mice pies.'

No-one's heard a squeak out of them since.

(4 per cent of vote)

7 Anna from Chicago wonders just what kind of food was made available to guests at a local Episcopalian Church function recently. Tied in with one of America's biggest sporting events, Anna received an invitation to attend:

'A Super Bowel Party'

(5.7 per cent of vote)

6 Just how far was the destination, wonders shipmate Kat, when the weekly notice sheet at Aylesbury Methodist Church, Bucks, energetically announced:

'The Wesley Guild walk will start from the Hen and Chickens car park at 10am. Please bring a packed lung.'

(6.7 per cent of vote)

5 Isabel Clark from Peterborough, UK, writes: 'In the recent edition of our local Christian newsletter, the Friday night service was listed as...

'A service of prayer and medication.'

At the meeting that followed, she reports, all the worship leaders were laid low with flu.

(7.7 per cent of vote)

4 Kory Stamper, from Amherst, Massachusetts, told us how his 'overworked pastor faithfully typed up hymns on transparencies for use on an overhead projector - until one fateful Sunday, during the classic hymn, 'Crown Him with Many Crowns', we were exhorted to:

'Awake, my soul, and sin...'

(12.5 per cent of vote)

3 Daisymay sent us a misprint of diabolical proportions. The Graham Kendrick-penned classic hymn usually reads:

'For this purpose, Christ was revealed,
'To destroy all the works of the evil one...'

When put through a demonically-oppressed spellchecker, the Easter Sunday service sheet readÖ

'For this purpose, Christ was revealed,
'To destroy all the woks of the evil one....'

Clearly a case of ëRepent - or be stir fried.'

(14.5 per cent of vote)

2 The advent of the computer spellchecker has ensured that the church secretary doesn't need to proofread the service sheets any more - or does he? In one church, the word 'speaking' was spelt wrongly, so the spellchecker gave the nearest equivalent. As a result, puzzled worshippers sangÖ

'Teach us, Lord, the art of... spanking.'

It didn't help that the next verse in the hymn begins with the words, 'You release us from our bondage...'

(20.4 per cent of vote)

1 One character - or lack of it - can make all the difference in encouraging the faithful to devotions. Winner of the The Parish Pump Church Magazine Misprint Competition 2005 is a Baptist Church near Ambleside which recently announced that...

'The meeting will be gin with prayer.'

Worshippers left looking tired and devotional.

(22 per cent of vote)

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